Getting back up

I've been living in denial, I've racked up debt on my American Express card, and I'm not happy about it. I worked so hard and did so well to pay it all off, but I continued to use it. For a while, I was doing really well that when I would buy something I would pay it right off. Things got a bit out of hand. 

The reason I even kept this card is because I use it for work, and then I'm reimbursed. Unfortunately, I have this credit card number memorized and have for many years. I've become more fashion conscious, and look at websites such as Pinterest, Poshmark, Zappos, Nordstrom, and anything of the like. Those are dangerous!!  It has been really bad on me financially, but I look damn cute!  

I have decided that I'm going to get myself out of this hole again.  Yes, I do have money saved and could pay the debt off, but honestly I don't want to. I feel like I need to punish myself, and pay for it slowly out of every single paycheck, as a reminder of how much less money I have on a regular basis because I didn't control myself. It might feel like someone paid off my debt if I take the money out of my savings, and there would be no lesson learned; my brain needs to be retrained. 

So, here we go again!